Tuesday, October 9, 2012

The Year: The College Professor Returns to School, Week 6

It Feels Good to Be Wanted and What Irks Me

Calling all bets! Calling all bets to a close!

Those who say they know me best would have made a mint if betting on how long my most recent foray into the classroom would last.  I was certain I would be there through the academic year, then Christmas, then the end of the first nine weeks.  There were some things that I had forgotten, least of all being that I am not a morning person, and then there were other things that I had never experienced, remaining with the same set of students for the majority of the day.  The first time I taught middle school I was a recent graduate-school graduate and single.  I had the time, energy, and inclination to remain at school until after 6 PM even though the school day ended at 2:45. I had the gumption to plan the high school pageant and Student Government Association elections while continuing to tweak my year-long lesson plans.  I was heavily involved in some of my students' lives.  Even though I married the following year, things remained the same since my spouse was completing his college education.  Fast forward to teaching 10th grade in Miami-Dade and except for the drive to work from Pembroke Pines to Kendall (I know) and the newly earned PhD, I still could spend hours each day planning, grading, and becoming acquainted with students.  What was missing then that made my recent return to the classroom so brief? Kids. My own. 

We, my husband and I, soon realized that we had grown very accustomed to the professor way of life.  He taught on Mondays and Wednesdays, I on Tuesdays and Thursdays. We could still attend plays and meet with the teacher each day as we dropped our eldest off to school and picked him up. One of us could chauffeur him to acting, gymnastics, Spanish, and soccer. We saved a small fortune since we did not need daycare providers.  My mother could step-in in a pinch.  We had so much time because even after an exhausting day with our son, we could work while he slept.  It also helped that I planned and created each syllabus the semester before and unless something catastrophic occurs, the syllabus remains the same from August to December, from January to April. Assignments and assessments varied in length and purpose, and I had summers and national conferences to re-energize and update each syllabus with the latest assignments, technology, theories, etc.  I could sponsor clubs, but leave the day-to-day operations (posting minutes, calling meetings, scheduling events and fundraisers) to adult students.  Our family even benefited from conference presentations.  We could easily turn these business events into mini family vacations.  Our eldest was able to visit and tour New York City and Philadelphia for example while I presented and or kept my duties as an elected representative.  Some fellow colleagues and their families would remain in a conference city post-conference for several days to sight see and enjoy the holidays (the National Council of Teachers of English convention backs up to Thanksgiving) before returning to work often for finals week. But this was not my schedule as a classroom teacher; how could I have forgotten?

After only five weeks, our house looked a mess.  Being a neat freak - a place for everything and everything in its place - I found it difficult to straighten as desired before heading to bed.  Bedtime came later and later, but time to awake did not. The alarm was set at 6AM. I felt guilty the first time our son reported his spelling test grade and we had no clue one was scheduled.  We felt as if we were missing chunks of his day.  I am the homework supervisor, backpack organizer, and fact checker, and I love my role.  Until now, I was able to do that, organize the furniture, clutter, mail, calendar, etc. with ease.  Once I returned to the classroom, all that changed.  Our son earned a C on a reading assignment, not because he did not know the material but because I had not had time to review his homework close enough to see that he misread the instructions. I had become what I feared, a parent who spent more time working at home than working at work. There is a difference. Although I was teaching at the school where he attended, I was so consumed with planning (I did not begin the week of pre-planning) and getting to know students and new material that I was not going to bed until the wee hours of the morning.  I don't like loose ends. 

I also realized that I was not only neglecting my 6-year-old, but my 70-something mother, husband of 16 years, and five-month-old baby boy.  The later was the hardest to reconcile.  I had taken my breastfeeding role seriously.  I had frozen  many bottles, but they were soon depleted since I was not home to feed him. I could not pump at work because there was no time to do so. I had morning planning and since I would have just pumped before leaving home, I needed to have an opportunity to do so later.  I am sure had I asked, something could have been worked out, but I also hate to impose or appear as if I am receiving accommodations that others are not. My mother's medical complaints grew.  She kept the baby on Tuesdays and Thursdays, but remarked that she felt dizzy.  She had to have a cardiac catheterization performed.  As an only child, I must assist her in tending to her medical decisions and finances.  There was mild blockage and her doctors decided it best to treat with medicine.  More medicine.  Her dizziness, it is now believed, was due in part to the blockage.  Prayerfully, the medicine and a quick visit to an inner ear specialist will alleviate her immediate issues.  Hats off to those who can do all of this, tend to all these people and things, not because they are "on top of things" but because they can ill afford not to.  Thank Heavens that my life has been ordered so that I have the choice and chance.

Thus, my decision to leave was personal and selfish. I thought it interesting how quickly our lives flattened, straightened. For now, I am able to spend Wednesdays with my son at his school.  I am able to assist him with his homework. I am able to read with him and play games.  I still take him to his extracurricular activities which made Thursdays (acting) and Fridays (Spanish and soccer practice) and Saturdays (soccer games) so hectic. So much so that I was left with only Sunday afternoon to plan, review, assess, align, and prepare for the week. Once I tenured my resignation, my discoid lupus agitation and a persistent cough that developed began to subside. But then questions began, but not from the principal. She understood totally. Unfortunately or fortunately, those with questions have never had me as a college instructor.  I make it a habit to practice what I preach, or at least attempt to do so with all my might.  I have always told prospective teachers that if their heart is not in what they are doing, if their passion drops, if they would rather be elsewhere, fishing, diving, driving, writing, whatever, go to it. Do it. Teaching is too important a task for the halfhearted.  The educational attainment that students seek is too valuable to leave in the hands of someone who, for all intent and purpose, is mentally absent. For me, it was an easy decision....


Do you know what's wrong with education? 
No, but I bet you don't either.

I do not fault people for expressing their opinions about how best to "fix" education; it is a free country and the first amendment grants them the right. However, I do fault educators for listening.   I do not think that the American Dental Association would grant me membership or listen to me pontificate about my views on dentistry once they determined that I was not a dentist; whatever views I had would be discredited and disavowed.  I would be verbally assailed.  Why? I have been to a dentist twice a year for most of life.  I have been poked and prodded and hurt. I know what they do and how they do it. Still not enough? Then why, pray tell, for all that is righteous and holy, do we, teachers, practitioners, researchers, instructors, professors, administrators, etc., allow those who could not teach or chose not to do so dictate policy, laws, and procedures? Their only means of entrance is that they were once students. I know the argument could be made that going to the dentist is not compulsory; there is no law that says you must go and that you must go until you are 16 or 18. However, those with good oral hygiene and access to healthcare are more apt to receive early screening and preventative care, whether they are high school graduates or drop outs.  Longevity does not equate to educational attainment any more than home ownership and healthcare and prosperity, but once your health fades, it fades forever. So again, why do we listen to those who offer no facts, data, or proof? Would you allow me to perform your root canal because I had one several years ago?

I am not saying that stakeholders should have their voices heard or be invited to the table to discuss the state of education. Please, come, share. However, there must be a line drawn when it comes to instituting policies that address only teachers.  You have to tread carefully when you hear people spout of returning to the days of yesterday. As a person of color, any 'day' prior to the 1970s, and even then is suspect, and you can return alone. I have heard teachers say that education was better when they could beat, excuse me... spank; when students were segregated; when teachers were segregated; when prayer was in schools; when students did not have so much technology; when students had something to overcome (racial segregation, inequalities, housing discrimination, job discrimination, etc.); when students did not have it so easy; when teachers had all the rights... Clearly, I could continue to infinitude.  Perspective is powerful.  Again, I am not suggesting that parents and stakeholders should not be afforded a spot at the table, but they should not be the keynote speakers while teachers are not invited to the table and the meeting is held when they are teaching and no one thought it pertinent that they be in attendance. 

It maddens me that so much is done to teachers by those who purport to know best.  Add one more assessment, teachers can handle it.  Slowly increase class sizes, teachers can handle it.  Fail to provide a cost of living increase, teachers can handle it. Require more documentation and paperwork, teachers can handle.  Yes, they can, but the question is should they?  I am sure if you look across the various school districts around the state and country, you will find that there are still teaching positions to be filled.  I think this trend will increase and unfortunately hit troubled districts the hardest.  People fail to remember that in the end, when your child has a permanent substitute for the year, he or she is still required to complete and pass all benchmarks, objectives, and assessments to go to the next grade or graduate and be deemed college ready.  These same people fail to realize that teachers have at least one degree, many have multiple degrees, talents, and skills and can find employment elsewhere, if willing perhaps to relocate.  I do not think that it is any coincidence that English and English education majors heavily populate the business sector.  Their skills are honored, coveted, and respected.

So imagine my surprise when the business model that many states now propose are treating teachers like their previous counterparts.  The same people they coaxed to come over to their side, they now lump together and see nothing but bottom lines, numbers, and profits. What of paying those who increase student outcomes more? Did you ever establish an equitable and just formula? Did teachers who demonstrated consistent year-to-year success make a mad dash to those lower performing, troubled schools to increase their salaries? Of course not.  Chicago's public schools has a CEO, not a superintendent.  Was not the business model suppose to cure all ills within education? Remember, it was those educated, tree hugging, environmentally conscientious, multiculturalism supporting education majors who ran the previous system amuck, right?

Still to come, weeks 7 & 8... From school to life.

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